Tuesday, 4 November 2008

From my private Spam collection

"Come quick," I shout to Francis. "All our worries are over."

He hurries - in as much as a man crushed by disappointment whose perfect T-shirt would read, 'I lived and all I got was this lousy family and a broken car,' can hurry.

"Look," I say. "At last, a spam letter than makes perfect sense."

He peers over my shoulder to read the following:

'Dear Canadian On-Line,

'I cannot inform you how happy I am I found you. My drugs are so expensive
here in the USA that I had a choice of going without my medicinal treats or
living on inexpensive soup.

'Thanks, I love your firm.

'Carol J.'

"There we are," I say. "All we have to do is order pills from them and we'll never have to eat inexpensive soup again."

"There's just one problem," says Francis.

"What?"

"We don't eat soup."

We ponder this together for a second.

"I've got it," I say.

"If you have, I'm sure they've got the medication for it..."

"Let's start eating inexpensive soup, order some medicine and then we can stop again."

"You know," says Francis, thoughtfully, "I can't help feeling there's a flaw in there somewhere, but for the life of me I can't work out what it is."

"Good," I say. "Then I'll start chopping the onions, shall I?"

8 comments:

CrazyCath said...

I have come to a conclusion.
You are, (like me sadly), quite mad.

Commiserations. Or actually, because madness in this form is painless, congratulations.

Jaywalker said...

I had chicory soup last night. It was vile. I would gladly order any amount of dodgy online medication to avoid doing it again.

Anonymous said...

Wish I got stuff worth reading in my spam collection. Sham collection, more like.

CJ xx

Susanna (A Modern Mother) said...

hee hee hee

Also, would like to submit one of your posts for the debut of the "Best of the British Mummy Bloggers" Carnival on 11th November. More details are here: http://tinyurl.com/6doadr

Expat mum said...

It was from me! I've just filled a prescription for a skin thing and it was over $100. (That's over fifty quid isn't it?) AND I have health insurance.

lady macleod said...

Oh baby! Too funny. Perhaps if we put the medications INTO the soup?

Omega Mum said...

Crazy cath: I am thrilled that I have kept up pretence of sanity for so long. But it was inevitable that you would discover my dark secret......Never mind, eh?

Jaywalker: That's wonderful news. I've taken the liberty of forwarding all your private details, including bank account info and password to them to speed up the process. I'm sure you'll thank me in the end.

CJ: I want you to have some of my favourite spam and will send some to you. We can laugh over it together.

Susanna: That would have been lovely but suspect have missed it. Am v grateful for the thought, however.

expat mum: of course. It all makes sense now. Why didn't I put two and two together?

Lady M: Am just adding some of my favourites right now...It's amazing what they do to spinach and nutmeg....Woah!

Omega Mum said...

Crazy cath: I am thrilled that I have kept up pretence of sanity for so long. But it was inevitable that you would discover my dark secret......Never mind, eh?

Jaywalker: That's wonderful news. I've taken the liberty of forwarding all your private details, including bank account info and password to them to speed up the process. I'm sure you'll thank me in the end.

CJ: I want you to have some of my favourite spam and will send some to you. We can laugh over it together.

Susanna: That would have been lovely but suspect have missed it. Am v grateful for the thought, however.

expat mum: of course. It all makes sense now. Why didn't I put two and two together?

Lady M: Am just adding some of my favourites right now...It's amazing what they do to spinach and nutmeg....Woah!