Revenge of the appliances

While friends offer suggestions, the electrical appliances, feeling neglected, strike back.

The freezer which is over a decade old, and feeling its age, starts treating the insertion of anything larger than an ice-cube as a form of assault, going into emergency defrost mode as soon as its door is opened and beeping noisily as the temperature rushes upwards.

The microwave waits until it is a week out of guarantee before beginning to overheat. Owing to the experimental nature of my cooking, it's only when the entire house smells of blackened plastic and one side of the microwave has fused, rather picturesquely, to the kitchen wall tiles, that any of us realise that it's not just another fusion cooking adventure gone horribly wrong.

In both cases, pleas to the local Freecycle group result in speedy offers of replacements. Feeling relieved, I get into the car to stock up on frozen essentials. It won't start. This time, Freecycle can't help. It's time to resort to that tried and tested favourite, paying a garage for a new battery. Sometimes, the old ways are the best.