Friday, 31 October 2008

Scarier without masks

It's Hallowe'en. The 'phone rings. It's Vicky.

"Bloody hell. Bloody Hallowe'en. I hate it all. Oh, hang on - it's the doorbell."

I hear her voice, fainter now, as she opens the door.

"Hi, there! How're you doing? There you are, darling. Have a sweet....Off you go. Byeeee!"

The door shuts. She picks up the phone.

"I just wanted a chat. I hate them all. Take my eldest. When I wouldn't give her the money to buy the Hallowe'en outfit she wanted she told me she was thinking about killing herself. I was so cross I told her I thought it was a damn good idea - we'd have enough bedrooms then. Oh, God, there's another lot. Just wait a minute.....

"Hallo. What a lovely outfit. You look gorgeous! See you! -"

She's back.

"I am just so sick of being nice all c***ing night. Oh, God. There's more of the f*****s. And the pumpkin soup's boiling over."

"You know what?" I say. "With minimal effort, it could be Hallowe’en all year round. And we never need to fuss about costumes, just come as we are. Because round here, everyone is a hell of a lot scarier without a mask."

Vicky laughs and hangs up. For a second, I could swear I see a fine, green mist swirl out from the 'phone before disappearing into the ether.

1 comment:

Irene said...

Poor Vicky probably doesn't have a clue as to what your refer to. She thinks she is just having the vapors from all the f**king stress.