Foiled Christmas Balls

A Christmas buying guide with Cultured Mum, Vicky and Bad Lindy.

Cultured Mum:"You can't do better than buy your loved ones that new DVD tribute to Jacqueline du Pre. There are some highly moving interviews that haven't been seen before. And, let's not forget, as her homage site says, the fact that she's arguably the greatest talent to ever play the cello, combining mind, heart, body and soul to produce the most expressive tones ever to emanate from the instrument. And her death at that tragically early age."

So that's one to have everybody collapsing round the TV with merriment on Christmas Day, then.

Vicky: "How about a labrador pup? In fact, how about mine? B****** husband presented me with him yesterday. Said just because I'd got rid of the Aga, it wouldn't stop him from instilling in us, and I quote, the sort of healthy lifestyle that is worlds away from my current wine and gossip based social circle. Bloody dog keeps retrieving. Retrieving things or vomiting. Sometimes retrieving things and vomiting at the same time.

"Just yesterday he retrieved the postman, an old lady and Bad Lindy, twice. Mind you, it was just as well. She needed retrieving from the gutter. She came to just as he was trying to push her in through the cat flap."

Bad Lindy: "One of those vibrating condoms. No - wrong order. Start with a fireman all round first. Then get the condoms. Why's my arm halfway through a catflap, anyway, and what's that licking my foot? If that's not a member of the emergency services, I'm going to kick it. Oh, God, I think it's just been sick on me."

As far as I'm concerned, Waitrose has summed up the whole thing. Foiled Chocolate Balls for all, and you can make mine a double.