"Yes, great-granny is going to die," says my sister, cheerily, to her small offspring, who are busily trying to eavesdrop on our phone conversation. "And probably quite soon!"
She makes it sound like a particularly enjoyable treat that's just round the corner for great-granny, about on a par with a nice, new crocheted cardie and a cuppa.
"That's a robust approach to mortality," I say, rather envying her no beating around the bush technique - while listening out for the sounds of distant sobbing that indicate its total failure, sibling rivalry being what it is, never stronger than when it comes to child rearing.
"The thing is that nobody in my husband's family likes her anyway," she says. "We went up to see them a few weeks ago and took some pictures of them all. She's sitting in the middle, almost comatose, and the rest of them loook really, really cheerful."
"Perhaps they're all part of some bizarre sect that actively looks forward to death."
"I think that's Christianity," says my sister. "And anyway, if's that the case, why didn't she look more cheerful herself?"
"Perhaps she'd already died and discovered it wasn't all it was cracked up to be."
"True," says my sister. "I've got to go. Promised the children we'd have a little burial. I've already got the trowel and the cardboard box."
"But what are you going to put in it?" I ask, intrigued.
"Don't know yet," she says. "But I'm quite sure something will turn up......"
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13 comments:
LOL Again, your kids are great fun aren't they?
Laura: Great fun is certainly one way of describing it. Glad it gave you a laugh. How very nice of you to leave three such positive comments. It's brightened my evening too.
Way to summarize the funkier aspects of Christianity -- "You don't like in the here and now, well have faith brothers and sisters, death will be upon us and then we'll finally be happy!"
Well that's of course if you make "the cut"! -- you know, rich man, large camel, threaded through the eye of the needle kind of test. But don't quote me, I was always rather baffled about Biblical specifics.
Molly G: Well, I suppose by publishing this, you are being quoted. But unless I get any complaints from zookeepers about visitors with sewing kits turning up to have a pop at the camels, I wouldn't worry. I'm with you on the religion, incidentally - you may have guessed.
It's quite the social thing, dying, isn't it? I like the idea of being prepared with a trowel. I may put one in my handbag, just in case.
Tina: But why leave it at a trowel? I think a standard obituary is always a good idea, with gaps, just in case you're asked to step in as non-denominational lay preacher. With the pandemic, they'll be going down like ninepins so it's as well to be prepared.
Stop it please - at my age, well you're un-nerving me!
Funny and sad at the same time! Funny post though!
She must have been going great guns to have great-children.... to my great sadness none of my grandparents survived to meet my daughter. I have to say, dear Omega Mum, I like the way you don't allow yourself to wallow in the gloomier side of life. Instead, you almost relish it. An attitude much to be recommended.
Back to Sartre again, then. A nice quick death double. Don't forget One-two-BLOG!
LOL That's great! It makes me wish I knew someone I didn't like that was dying...
The way I'm going my trowel will have to be rather large.
Crystal xx
IB: Me, too. Let's laugh in the face of the grim reaper, together
Casdok: Glad funny won.
M@L: Yes, but then there is a huge choice of things to wallow in, headed by self-pity. Death simply has to wait its turn.
SAHD: Has anyone ever told you that you have a very attractive intellect?
Lady M: I'm sure we could put a list together for you based on politicians you've mentioned in your blog.
CJ: Wow! I'm coming to see who is on your burial list. From the sounds of it, they may not actually be dead.
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