Worried about your child's lack of manners? In particular, worried that your child's lack of manners reflect badly on your own manners/your husbands, nanny's or childminder's manners?
Worry no longer. There may be simple explanation.
Have you ever considered the possibility that, unknown to you, your child may simply be Danish?
The Danes have many admirable qualities. They are fearless and punctual to a fault, but - and here's the nub - they have no word for please. None at all. Even the concept of saying 'please' is unknown.
At a pinch, they can rev up the manners express and get it up to a "Would you pass the butter?" delivered in tones of utmost courtesy. But there's no place for a please.
The acid test is to toast your child in Shnapps. If he raises his glass, looks into your eyes and says, 'Skol,' it's the clincher.
Try it. And, with any luck, you need never feel guilty again.
PS If he drains his glass, refills it, urinates against a wall, falls down in a drunken stupor and is served an asbo while having his stomach pumped out, I'm afraid there's no doubt he's British.
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17 comments:
I think you've got a point.
I realised the other day that the reason I have a reputation for being "very direct" at work is that I spent years working in Northern Europe, with Germans, Swedes and - yes - Danes. I had British understatement and euphemism rubbed out of me. There, if I said unenthusiastically "that's an interesting idea" they thought I meant it was an interesting idea. Now, when I say, "that's not going to work, and here's why", I am described as "very direct". Ho hum.
Skol.
Skol back! There's a good linguistic reason for all these national stereotypes, isn't there. It's not down to character so much as the words you have available. On which note, do you have any idea how 'please' got excised from the language.Or was it never there in the same place?
If I want something I usually want it now, subito, pronto, so I rather like the idea of being Danish. I'm afraid I'm too dark and short to be convincing, though.
Orchidea: Just start not saying 'please' and wear some Viking horns and I'm sure the rest will follow as night follows day.
I shared a flat for a while with a Danish girl, who was lovely, and very direct. In a way it helped us tremendously, because I started to come to the point faster and stop any un-Danish shilly-shallying, while she became less abrupt. I still like what's left unsaid just as much as what's actually said, but she did help me see this wasn't necessarily the most effective communication mode. There were no ASBOs for any of us in that flat, I'm glad to say. We're still in touch, mainly via swapping photos of our respective children by email from time to time. There, more simple and direct communication.
M@L: This was a very indirect (and thus non Danish) way of finding out who has asbos.....
I need wonder no more. Thank you for this enlightening information.
Crystal xx
CJ: Always glad to be of service
Thank you for clearing this up. I've wondered for years what my children's problem was.
Now I know...
The Rotten Corr: With three of my own, you can't imagine how good I feel about myself....
As 'get to the bloody point' is one of my most frequently used phrases, I suspect I may have some Danish code buried in me somewhere. I've never had an asbo -not through lack of trying, mind you. Finns rival Danes in directness/rudeness/ignorance/whatever you want to call it, depending which culture you're looking in from... The French are always well mannered to your face.
Mya x
Thanks for the laugh! I will alert the neighbor who recently consulted me about her child - why she thought Id know is beyond me - but nevertheless....
Found you thru TopBlogMag's blogroll, love your sense of humour and will see you again, Cheers!
Ha! So funny. Yes, I love the little quirks about different languages...
So any time any of my friends' lovely teenagers annoys me I can now shout - you you Danish person you! and wave my fists in the air. I would say that they might think I was off my rocker but I think they do anyway!
The Icelanders have no word for 'please' either AND they urinate against walls and fall down drunk. No wonder - they're descended from the Danes and the British, both. Oy, vey!
Really I never knew that! May need to move there! Loved the P.S.
Mya: I think there's a little bit of Dane in all of us. If you see what I mean.
Lavender: Welcome - glad you enjoyed it.
Snuffles: It is odd, isn't it?
DJ: Apparently the language is hideously difficult. Perhaps they just don't have time to work on a 'please'
alda: Really? Now that's really scary.
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