The weekend so far

Bad Lindy: Window man texting non-stop - had to put fone on silent. will try out lipgloss 2moro and c if can seduce dog or 2.

(Did I mention that Lindy has a part-time job as a vet's receptionist? Since she started, hamster sales to middle aged men in the area have doubled)

Friend with troubled marriage: cooked roast, did ironing, cleaned up. Hub lazy bone idle tw*t

Beth: I'm getting really stressed but i don't know why

Me: Daydream about Francis getting fab job and me becoming Super Corporate Wife. Then read one of Gordon Ramsay's recipe instructions.

'...to make a 'barrel' of tagliatelle, pick up a few strands with a carving fork and press them against the side of the pan. Start to twist the pasta into a barrel shape. Push it back against the pan side to neaten once the strands are wound, upend the fork into the centre and gently push off the pasta.'

God help us. Next week: how to construct an entire dinner service out of origami. I can tell when I'm out of my league.