Calcium supplements reduce women's weight gain, said a report today. Sounded good to me. I might not quite be prepared to gnaw my own bones to ensure I meet the daily recommended amounts but it would be a close call.
Until, that is, I read the amount of weight not gained and the time it took not to gain it.
And get this. After seven (that's 7) years of taking those supplements, women in trials managed not to gain - wait for it - a massive one third of a pound - around, ooh, I don't know - 120 or 130g - the size of largish double chocolate chip muffin.
So get out now, buy those supplements and in just seven year's time, you could be a whole 5oz lighter than your friends. Alternatively, you could just not bother, hang on seven years, then go and sweat the weight off in one morning at a sauna.
No wonder there was another story today saying that female chimps are just as violent as the males and are going on the rampage, killing and maiming everything they can lay their hairy little hands on.
Nobody knows why. Except me. It's obvious. They've all been taking calcium supplements for seven years, only to discover that they've lost precisely one third of a pound compared to the other female chimps, and they're as mad as hell.
Ritalin, where is thy sting? And what are its weight gain figures over seven years, anyway?
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5 comments:
I read that too, and thought 'what a load of old twaddle' (it was early in the day). Just shows how most of these 'stories' are merely publicity for some heavily-funded piece of research.
I do quite like the sound of the rampaging, murderous female chimps, though - though it does scotch one of my pet theories on the lines of if women ran the world there'd be fewer wars. Might have to re-think that one.
This might be too early in the morning but - have you read the report that oral sex increases the risk of throat cancer, but not, apparently, if you are a smoker or drinker of alcohol?
This begs so many questions I don't know where to begin....
Will not be offended, Omega Mum, if you don't approve this comment; I'll spend my time doing some more research.
Personally I find that I lose the weight quicker if I chew on sticks of chalk, thus getting my dose of calcium as well as making myself feel so sick I don't feel like eating.
Debio - admire your stamina for mulling over issues like this at such an early hour and think it's a useful tip to pass on.
Ditto chalk advice - thanks EmmaK! what a cracking way to diet - and none of that fussy preparation, either, as with cabbage soup diet (none of its side effects either, one assumes...)
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