Monday 3 December 2007

Dot comms.

"We've got a busy weekend," I say to Francis.

"We have?"

"Yes. We've got Vicky and her family round on Friday - I bet her that she wouldn't be able to taste the difference between this meal and the last one I cooked for her."

"Why - are you cooking the same thing?" asks Francis, momentarily diverted.

"No - it's just at everything I cook tastes identical to everything else. I think it must be those super-strength stock cubes I'm using.

"Anyway, on Saturday your brother's ex-wife is bringing the children round for lunch."

"She is? Why didn't you tell me? I didn't know."

"You did," I say. "I e-mailed you a list of dates."

"Oh, an e-mail. Well, I'm not going to read that."

"Why not?" I ask. "We both work. And what with all the school events - the children's and mine, your work things, the Christmas socials, it's the only way either of us can keep track of what's happening. And it's easy to update."

"I just can't get my head round the idea that our prime method of communication with each other is e-mail."

"It's not," I say. "I'm communicating with you by e-mail, and you're not communicating at all."

He looks anguished.

"I don't want to hear about what's happening from my wife in an e-mail. I want you to come and tell me face to face."

"I think you're spending too much time in the office, darling," I say. "Because that's not a wife you're talking about. That's a secretary."

Then I disappear back to the computer, dignity intact, like the high-tech, low-life bitch I am. Or not.

12 comments:

Stay at home dad said...

Low-life? I want to hear more about that ...!

I Beatrice said...

Can't help thinking Francis has a point you know...

But then what would I know, sweet little old low-tech grandmama that I am?

Went to g/daughter's nativity play today, btw (she was Mary). Well, to call it a nativity play is stretching it a bit in fact - what it was, was an almost entirely secular piece, with a stable scene thrown in for good measure at the end.

Still, I was glad to see they hadn't been brow-beaten into abandoning it altogether! It takes considerable courage these days I should think - to stage a nativity play!

Potty Mummy said...

Sensational OM. I can't believe that I've missed this opportunity for cast iron evidence of telling my husband about forthcoming events until now. But you've taken away the taboo - now he will be receiving bookings by e-mail.

Vive la Revolution!

PS - I posted on the almshouses, btw. Not sure how interesting it was though...

Anonymous said...

I get faces pulled at me for spending too much time at the computer. Only thing is, my husband doesn't even know how to switch the damn thing on let alone send an email.

Crystal xx

Mya said...

But why doesn't he read your emails? Does he treat you as spam as well as a secretary?

Mya x

Omega Mum said...

SAHD: I think cheap way of getting a good sign-off line might be more accurate...Sadly. Glibness is its own punishment.

IB: You are my moral compass, IB, and I had a feeling you'd agree with him. As for nativities - well, more on the ones I've been involved with, as teacher and parent, shortly - with that religion v entertainment theme at its core.

Potty M: You'll have to get him to send you one of those receipt things, though, or he'll simply claim it never reached him. I speak from experience here. Will be over to check out almshouses.

CJ: I bet he does, really. It's just easier for him to pretend not

Mya: You'd be surprised at how much pleasure you can get out of a late night role playing game of Spam v Deleter - there's your low-life, SAHD. Not very low, though,is it?

Motheratlarge said...

I think it's very nice of you to organise all these gatherings. We would never go anywhere or see anyone if I didn't organise it. Va-vay doesn't seem to mind. He just goes along with what I plan. It seems to work best that way.

Omega Mum said...

M@L: Thanks for the support. To be honest, I'd hate it if Francis started taking on a more assertive role and sorting out our social life. He invariably points out the mothers I'd least like to socialise with at the football club socials.....

DJ Kirkby said...

Lol...funny but close to the truth sometimes...

Laura McIntyre said...

LOL DH and i used to communicate through email all the time

Omega Mum said...

DJK: But not everybody does it, do they? That's the message, her.

Laura M: And what made you stop? I think we should be told?

Unknown said...

Ugh. Wish I knew how this all ended.