There's been a change of direction at Megadik. After top-level talks at head office, which I assume to be a giant, piano-shaped building that dominates the skyline for miles around, the company has reluctantly concluded that its customers find laughing chicks, in or out of toilets, a worrying idea.
So instead, they've decided to play the numbers game.
'80 000 men in the entire world have already been contented by the quantity and efficacy of Megadik,' says Santos Kauffman, latest recruit to The Cause. What with counting all those contented men, it's amazing that he and his friends are able to spend so much time trying to set the world to rights for the rest of us. What a lovely man he must be.
His message also contains an oblique reference to that well-known bastion of respectability, the Green Party of Canada, though he doesn't specify whether or not they are customers. I hadn't marked them out as scoring above average on the contentment front, but I'll certainly be paying close attention to their manifestos from now on.
Above all, says Santos, we should relax. And for the housebound user, there's probably nothing to worry about, apart from the logistics of keeping a romantic evening going when, yet again, you've forgotten to go through the kitchen door sideways and got stuck. But I can see a logistical problem for anyone who likes to get out a bit.
"Nobody will know 'bout your problems," insists Santos. Turn up for the pub quiz sporting a piano-shaped protuberance, though, and they soon will.
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6 comments:
Hey, don't knock it (unless it's with a cold spoon and won't go down after three days) - 80,000 men can't be wrong, can they? As one of my emails said: "U can plesure brillaint and women will be begging for it." Oh yes, bring on the "plesure".
But how did they count them, Around my KT? Thanks for the cold spoon tip, incidentally......
80,000 men left in that condition... blimey! But are there enough women around willing to benefit from this new-found largesse? Even Bad Lindy would have her work cut out cracking through that many. Surely? Perhaps I underestimate her. Always a dangerous thing to do, I suspect.
Perhaps we should contact the Green Party of Canada and ask them if they have a manifesto for the distribution of Megadik to all Canadian Citizens. Should the Canadians be warned about impending piano shaped protrudements (I do like making words up).
Well, I think, omega mum, it's easy to find 80000 contented men because they are usually oblivious to what's going on around them....
M@L: It largely depends on where they're located and whether Bad Lindy has developed a sat nav system capable of tracking them down....
Gwen: Protrudements clearly an invented word of genius that should be in circulation asap
Debio: Is that really the definition? Crikey - I've got some work to do, then..
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