Tuesday 22 January 2008

Dating the Freecycle way.

Step one: get fit..................
'Offered: Weight bench and weights. I am too fat, old and bald to use these, who would like them?'

Step two: prepare that gourmet dinner:
'Offered: 7 cans of lightmeat tuna. I hate them. Good news: they expire Dec 2011, so good for stocking up prior to the next inland war'

Step three: turn up the ambience:
'Offered: Six wooden chairs, all with rotted and broken bits, but some parts of each one still good. Ideal for being taken apart and made into 3 or 4 good chairs by someone gullible and well sorted for time with very few friends.'

Step four:
'Offered: One relationship. Slightly used and a bit sordid but could be turned into something much more enduring by the right person.'

8 comments:

molly gras said...

umm ... being bald affects weight-training efforts? Poor dude :(

Next inland war ... is there something you Brits want to let us crisis-landened Americans know about, hmmm??

Omega Mum said...

Molly G: This was honestly what it said so I was rather hoping for some clue myself. I'll be sure to let you know. Just off to mix some more concrete for that dear little shelter in the garden. Radiation poisoning - so slimming, isn't it? PS am linking you to blog. And about bloody time, too, I hear you say.

molly gras said...

You're a doll! And please include an adequately-supplied wine cellar to that circa 1940s bombshelter hidden among your begonias.

Cheers :)

Iota said...

This is probably the most original and imaginative chat-up line I've ever seen. Though it doesn't do it for me personally, I hasten to add.

There must be a tuna-eating, wood-working, fitness fanatic on a rebound out there, for whom this man is the perfect mate.

Omega Mum said...

Molly Gras: Am just setting out the lead reinforced cushions for you now...

Omega Mum said...

Iota: Thank HEAVENS for the caveat. I'll let you know as soon as I find that tuna-eating fitness freak and post a picture.....

Motheratlarge said...

Nope, sorry, all too post-modernist for me - but a fascinating insight into the virtual world of Freecycle. I used to think my dating life was hell before I met my husband - now I realise I got off lightly. No lightmeat tuna anywhere in sight. Actually, that's not true. As a student I was known as Skipjack for my fondness for tuna - but romance had nothing to do with it.

Omega Mum said...

M@L: I made only the last one up, edited the third and put in 1st and 2nd ones pretty much verbatim. It's extraordinary, really.