Vicky, Bad Lindy and I are waiting for a train after a brief, celebratory stop-off at a nice little waiter round the corner who, conveniently, comes with in-built wine bar ("I could listen to him croon that list of specials all night, couldn't you?" says Lindy. "No," we chorus rudely.)
The station is crowded with the walking inebriated who are still able to move at a fast stumble without vomiting. We're hoping that by now, all the concert goers are well on their way home.
"What about the phone you put in the briefcase?" I ask.
"What about it?" says Bad Lindy.
"Couldn't it be traced back to you?" I ask.
"No way," she says. "And the phone I called him on is registered to a small haybarn in Lithuania. I knew that private detective would come in useful."
"What private detective?"
"The policeman's wife hired him to discover if there was anything going on between us. He turned up on my doorstep to read the meters. I let him in and locked him in the cupboard under the stairs - they'd only been done the week before, so I knew he was a fake."
"How long did you lock him in there?"
"I dunno. Ten minutes or so. Well, as long as he took to find where I'd hidden the key."
"What were you doing in there with him?"
"What do you think?" says Lindy. "I never could resist a man in overalls."
"Or dungarees," says Vicky, "Or clothes. Or standing up, sitting down -"
"So, what about Colin?" continues Lindy, taking Vicky's comments as some sort of tribute. "Ra'll ditch him. Got to. It's embarrassing, crass, tasteless." She looks a little wistful for a mioment. "Shame to waste it, really, but there we are."
"He'll certainly find it hard to explain away," I say. "Mind you, should make for an interesting review. That is, if he ever gets round to writing it."
"He's like a jackal," says Vicky, indignantly. "Sneaking round and scraping up the fag ends of other people's marriages."
"No, he's not," says Ra, suddenly.
"No, I'm not," says Colin, popping up behind her. "And what's more, I resent that."
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11 comments:
Apropos of nothing very much, except perhaps Ra and Lindy and their men ... did I tell you about the optician I visited in Lucca?
He was young, and beautiful in the Italian style; and "Look into my pupils" he said, when the examination was over.
And oh my, I'm an elderly lady now, and should be well beyond such responses. But I have to tell you that when I did what he asked, it was as if I was looking into the pupils of Al Pacino - and drowning there.
I have always had a weakness for them, those deep, deep old Italian eyes...
(And now I've committed the fatal error of using some of my own potential story lines in advance!
Still, I thought it might have the advantage, to you, of sending Bad Lindy hopping off to Pisa in search of Lucchese opticians....
Who in addition to their gorgeousness, can produce a pair of glasses at record speed and half the price, you might tell her that also. And if she gets a Ryanair flight from Stansted, she can more than halve the price of BA!)
I love 'scraping up the fag ends of people's marriages'....pity smoking is outlawed.
IB: Is visiting Italian opticians one of your holiday tips? Sounds good to me. As for plot lines - well, I'm looking forward to hearing a lot more.
Debio: It would be quite fun to stub on a fag on his nasty tweed jacket.
What a cliffhanger! How clever to leave us wondering like that. More, please!
M@L: More soon, I hope. Think am straying rather rapidly away from blog title as neither kids nor job appearing at all at the moment, but never mind. The Bumper Book of Bad Lindy seems more appropriate title.
I do like the idea of the Big Book of Bumper Lindy. She really is a bumper isn't she. So what did happen after the end of this blog post. I'm dying to know.
Gwen: More very soon....Bumper Books permitting.
Lindy does get herself into some embarrassing situations doesn't she. Or does she take it all in her stride?
Crystal xx
CJ: She always makes it through - often only just, though.
I am lost in the bad Lindy story and find it very hard to follow, although I do appreciate the humorous parts in it. Is that okay too? Sometimes I am a little dimwitted and I am sure that I am missing out on some very exciting literature. Sort of like War and Piece or something, which I never could read either.
Sweet I: You are, indeed, sweet to keep following it. Basically, cultured mum (ra) is pain in neck and has fallen for grim music critic. Vicky has recruited Bad Lindy to try to break them up because she feels that if Ra's marriage to Tom breaks up, it will bring down every slightly troubled marriage with it. Hence the concert, mucking about with phones etc. It's all a rather laborious means to an end. But thank you for persevering. I feel very honoured, frankly. Do let me know if that helps. Or not.
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