Finally, proof not only that we go to a better place after death, but that someone knows how to get to it, too.
Insurance companies - who I suspect have been in cahoots with the Almighty for years (after all, if He tells them exactly when the next batch of floods is going to happen, and where, they can adjust premiums way in advance) - clearly have some inside knowledge.
A national press ad for a PBYG - Pay before you go funeral scheme, like PAYE only more pointless - announces the many benefits of signing up for a regular savings plan, possibly for decades, in the sure knowledge that customers won't be around, at least, not in any conscious state - to enjoy the full gorgeousness of their coffin, lustrous and with the decorative wood effect of their choice.
The firm highlights the many benefits of the scheme:
1. Peace of mind.
2. The pleasing sense that if you play your cards right and use up every last penny of your spare cash, this will be the last time anyone will take you for a gullible idiot
3. Er, that's it.
Sign up now, they say, and there's a free gift.
What is it?
A satellite navigation system.
Like I said, the insurance companies clearly know where we're going after death. Let's just hope they remember to slip the postcode into your shroud.
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9 comments:
At the next roundabout take a right into the valley of the shadow of death. You really never know when you might need your sat nav. What an excellent story.
I wouldn't mind meeting up with some of these insurance companies. Not fussed if it's before or after they put me in a coffin.
Crystal xx
That's bonkers!
I know where I'm going, and my Tom Tom's going to melt PDQ.
Mya x
It seemed so strikingly inappropriate that I re-read the ad just now. And it's all quite true.
Mya: Thank goodness, then. I'll just follow your tail-lights.
Hilarious and so true! How do people fall for it? we've got buy now, pay now scheme shops popping up everywhere in our city...oh no...do you think that is an omen? They mostly seem to be owned by a firm whose name claims they know how to play nicely with others. They obviously play by different rules if they end up with a sizable chunk of people's money!
It's my belief that the Almighty probably doesn't always play it quite straight with the insurance companies OM. I mean, he probably sees the injustices of it all better than anyone (he made them after all!).
I guess there must be times when, bored with being incorruptible, he slips them in a wrong date for a disaster. And then sits back in the clouds chortling, as they reap the hurricane and flood ....
Not often perhaps - but sometimes?
Well spotted! Has someone put some thought into the figurative side of this or just jumped onto the latest bandwagon (with satnav)?
On the basis that there are no free lunches (always works), all these schemes offering you free gifts are to be instantly avoided...
SAHD: I would like to think it was a cynical marketing ploy - but sadly, no - I reckon irony is dead. Let's hope it got hold of Sat Nav on special offer before the last rites.
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