Monday:
Lazy arse of son has driven me 2gin bottle again this evening. He knows it all. We r just fkwits ruining his life. Jesus am at melting point with his fking disrespectful attitude. Fk the school – feel like sending him 2 sweat factory – tonight. He was asked out by girl at school, declined and then accidently sent her txt saying ‘I know, f****** hell, who’d go out with that c*** anyway?'
Tuesday
Thought was organised today - ballet kit washed and ready, piano bks by door, kids ontime 4school then got call on way 2sch from son reminding me that its fkin roman day 2day and he's got to dress up. I can manage toga I say, thinking can take sheet in 2school but no, the bastds got 2b a roman centurian.
Wednesday
Daughter just told me that 2day she got highest mark shes ever got in science – 96%. Then found out it was 4 reproduction! Oh dear, just like her mum.
Thursday
Deloused youngest then lovingly blowdried hair and put her bk 2 bed she promptly sat up and vomited over clean bed and hair so had2do all over again.
Friday
Can anyone the fk hear me? Hello! Oh, God oh fk maybe ive died and this is it. Bitches.
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10 comments:
Those must have been the texts of Bad Lindy - mustn't they? Oh, please tell me they were Lindy's texts and not your own!
My own texts on the other hand, tend to be almost grotesquely well-spelled and grammatical. I tell myself it's because I use the predictive method - it's almost impossible to get the proper jargon, when you text predictively.
Predictably, is what my daughter calls it, mind you. "Mum opens and closes her brackets when texting FGS!", she tells her friends.... I have reason to suppose that my texts to her are the subject of much mirth at the school gates of a morning.
(Apropos of none of which, but just because it bugs me so.....will someone please tell me definitively at last what lol signifies in a blog? I see it everywhere and haven't a clue as to what it could possibly mean.)
IB: They're not mine, promise. And lol means 'laughed out loud'.
Don't panic, we can hear you. Although Bad Lindy (ha!) might want to cut back on the double espresso's...
Potty Mummy: Will pass reassurance on. Thanks for calming words.
Poor you, what a drag to be a mother to such ungrateful children and to have Francis living with you as a total stranger with herring in his pockets. Have a large gin and tonic, dear. You can come and cry on my shoulder any day, it is quite large.
Sweet I: Thank you. Will pass on your kind words to text sender with offer of shoulder.
Tell Bad Lindy to try Baileys next time; the sugar rush makes for a happier drunk! That text from her son, lol, I nearly died. I have made similar mistakes, albeit with less cussing but almost as devastating all the same.
DJ: We've all been there (maybe not quite as graphically). I can still wince at things I did 20 years ago.
How funny!!!
Casdok: Glad you enjoyed it.
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