Corporate news from Megadik

I get an e-mail from Megadik. They've been rather quiet of late and I was getting worried.

'What has a monk got to do with breast enhancement?' they ask. Unfortunately, before the question can be answered, the company is carried away on a rising tide of hyperbole - spumy, frothy and surging, naturally - and can think only of the latest exciting company developments.

'Make your c**k so long even you will be able to suck it,' is the next announcement.

I pass the news on to Bad Lindy. "Honestly," she grumbles, "Life's hard enough as it is. There's never a fireman around when you want one, these days. And now I know why."

We debate the monk issue for some time without arriving at a conclusion - let alone a firm one.