"....She marched in to see the director of studies and said, 'I'm not doing my A-levels here - the teachers are a bunch of incompetents........"
"...Who am I? The boyfriend. Apparently."
"...So I was her best friend when she was living with her mother in the States and Ruby was her best friend here. She took one look at me and you could see the hatred in her eyes. I was the rival. Friend, lover, she just didn't know. I tell you what I think. I think she's evil."
"....She says we have met. Apparently I came round to her flat ten years ago when she was having a moving out sale, bought a Barbie for my daughter, then had a huge row with my wife over whether it was an appropriate toy for our little girl. It went straight up to the loft and I haven't seen it since."
"...Do you like the ring? Twenty five thousand dollars! Apparently that stone is just about the best you can get. I know 45 is a bit late to be tying the knot but my three cats - I call them the girls - love him."
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7 comments:
Nice Blog :)
Thanks, Mich.
Interesting eavesdropping you're doing there -- the "A-lister" scares me; I'd have walked a wide circle around that one! "The boyfriend": hmmm, me smells some martial suspicions. "Rivals, friends, lovers"?: a bit synonymous if you ask me. A Barbie row: I would have lingered a bit more to find out if there was an illicit back story to that one! Marrying because of CATS!: Good grief! I smell disaster in the making (i.e., in three years time, he leaves, taking her cats with him!
Loved the last one especially. Priorities eh?
(My kids know which side their bread is buttered and taught at a young age that flattery gets you everywhere).
I'm jealous of your social life, OM. You seem to live in some kind of Mike Leigh parallel universe. Are you anything like Alison Steadman?
Ooops - where are my manners? Thank you very much for the award -I couldn't help noticing in the drawer next to the polish...it looks like a crumpled up phone bill has been stuffed in there. Just thought you should know.
Mya x
molly g: Come with me, next time. You'd be brilliant at getting more of the story - I just hang around at the edges, overhearing things.
crazycath: Send me your children. I am enclosing an SAE.
Mya: Thanks so much. Wondered where it had gone. You didn't see the the shattered remnants of Francis' dreams while you were there, did you? I saw him sweeping them up into a corner the other day......
I was so excited about the award that I forgot to comment on your post and it is one of my favorite ones, when you are at a party and hear silly people have silly conversations, which makes me an anti social human being, who can't do small talk unless I have consumed a large amount of alcohol and then I become too rambunctious and try to steal husbands from wives and boyfriends from...well, whatever you call them. I am just no good at mingling and being pleasant and conversant and would rather be shot than have to wear a cocktail dress and high heels.
In another life, I am planning on coming back as Indiana Jones and always having a grip on things in my sweaty shirt and three day old whiskers. Especially the gold and diamonds!
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