I have a new mouse for my computer. It has a little lozenge of a light on the top, inset into a silver-framed casing. At the softest of touches, the light, which is the shape of a just-formed 'oh' of surprise, blushes with surprise. Clasp it tighter and it positively glows bright red with excitement.
What possible need can there be for an emoting mouse that acts pleased to see me? Are we so deficient in everyday emotion that we need machines to give us a top up?
There's really no rhyme or reason to it. But it's strangely addictive, and I find myself stroking the mouse from time to time, just to see it react with apparent pleasure. "You're sad," says Beth, when she catches me at it.
I'm not so sure. Perhaps it would do us good for all our fixtures and fittings to show how much they care? A chair, say, that groans with pleasure when I sit down. A bed that gives me a hug. And a table that snorts with delight when I rub it down with a wet cloth after a particularly vicious meal.
After all, if we really are all going to hell in a handcart, we might just as well make the trip there a little bit more fun.
But here's the rub. I know full well that even if L'Escoffier comes back from the dead and designs a fully emoting cooker for me, all it will ever do is shriek with laughter if I so much as wave an onion in its direction.
Back to the drawing board. Even that, I reckon, has just started to snigger.
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22 comments:
I discovered your blog by way of Beatrice's, and what a nice surprise! Your description of your new mouse was so vivid, I had to laugh when I realized I was actually stroking my black emotionless mouse on this side! I'd LOVE a bed that hugs me, and the interaction with inanimated things around me would be exhilirating and refreshing. Finding a kindred spirit at first glance is so astonishing it feels silly to say it out loud when its my first visit to your blog!
Kareno: Welcome. Glad you like it the blog. I suppose all of us have more physical contact with a mouse than almost anything else during the day.....
Great stuff. I really don't want to imagine the noises coming from that poor handcart on its way to hell...
...a mirror that ripples with pleasure/cracks in shock...shoes that walk over to join you/run away laughing...
The mirror, Merryweather! My God, that explains everything......!
..a sighing bath that soothes away your aches & pains..
Love it, CJ. It would mean never coming back to an empty house....(assuming no power cuts)
Unfortunately it wouldn't be a groan of pleasure when I sat down in the chair. LOL
Kev
Kev: That just means you have a cold, unfeeling chair.
brilliant! I have always thought what would be very nice indeed is a nice cedar box about the size of a tissue box that played the recording of a large crowd applauding when you opened it,complete with cheers. I think one should place it in the powder room by the bath and a full length mirror.
I don't know about the hugging bed, sounds a bit dodgy to me. But I love the chair bit and a want the brand name of your mouse. One can never have too much love.
Applauding box - what a good idea. Don't you think it could be a real seller? Have checked mouse and it seems to be made by PCLine - whoever they are.
I will never look at any inanimate object in quite the same way again after reading this! Come to think of it, I think my new red lipstick is puckering up for a kiss and I'm sure I just saw my mobile phone wink at me! And as for my wine glass, well ...
omega mum, I think this is a great idea so long as it's all positive strokes; I think I already have enough reality passing judgement, the last thing I need is a microwave screaming 'not another freezer dinner!!' as I approach.
Funny, funny blog.
Funkymunky: What lippie do you use? Sounds fab
Debio: I agree - you don't want anything telling it like it is.
It goes by the name of "Passionate Kiss". I'd give you the brand, but kisses are hard enough to come by!!
Thank you for visiting my blog by the way.
A 21st century version of the mood ring!
Who sang that song about the table ....Beautiful south? Thank you for your kind comments on my blog.
the skool for wayward mothers is at www.purplecoo.co.uk there is an explanation on the front page then the Children Chocolate and Wine chat room and then all the 80 blogs off that...we are in uniform as well ....just take a whirl through the chat room ...cover your eyes and just peek though!
Thanks, SbeachS. Will check it out.
talking furniture could be a mixed blessing omegamum. imagine a sofa that says 'I can't believe you're watching that film again, you know she dies in the end' or 'just to remind you before you get carried away, the children are still awake' .Best that furniture doesn't start expressing emotion, after all, what if that leads to men starting to do it as well...?
You're right, Rilly. Silent devotion and the ability to operate a corkscrew is probably all that's required. God. I wish.
Clever. Very clever. I think I need your mouse!
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