Wednesday 25 July 2007

Sheherazade and the Big Packets

It's a toss up as to who is more deluded, Francis' old employers or his new ones.

The old company is still inviting him out for farewell meals apparently unaware that he hasn't been there for three months now, while the new one thinks he's just handed in his notice and is having to fend off inducements to stay.

And to add to the confusion, he's still going to interviews.

Today, he's off to a food company. To impress this lot with his enthusiasm he's spent several hours putting together a presentation that features photographs of the company's products on display in a range of supermarkets. Apparently this makes for riveting interview material, though I'd have thought that the striking absence of production values would make it pall almost immediately as edge of the seat entertainment.

"There's one of the big packets on a high shelf," I imagine Francis saying. "And look - there's one right next to it. And what's on top of it? Another big packet. Oh - look. There's a gap. But there was a big packet there. Wake up, everyone. I'm just about to do the next shelf down. And you'll never guess what I've spotted....."

Pictures like this come at a price. Yesterday, Francis was almost thrown out of a branch of Tesco's for taking photographs of their shelf displays. No wonder. Pointing a camera at cartons beats train spotting hands down for anoraknophobia and it's probably contagious.

"What happens when you run out of photographs or the interviewer wakes up?" I ask.

"I tell them what I plan to do over during my first 100 days there," says Francis.

"So what are you going to say?"

"Well," says Francis, dreamily. "I think they could do with a really good photographic library."

It's not exactly Sheherazade. But if that's what passes for the magical art of the storyteller in packet food land, who am I to break the spell?

9 comments:

I Beatrice said...

I thought that was so very innovative of Francis, to have dreamt-up something so original in the food-display PR line..... Such a pity Tesco didn't see it that way!

Can see their point of course - I mean: THEY don't know what his photos are to be used for, do they?

And I do fear that picture libraries probably won't rate all that high on the priority lists of food companies...

Still, full marks for trying, is what I say! And if it were a virtual food company he was going to .... well, the sky would be the limit wouldn't it?

(Not sure that this is helping much, mind...)

Omega Mum said...

Thanks, IB. What with Francis' fantasy job world and the piano pedals, life's taking on an increasingly surreal feel so Blogworld provides a nice touch of reality.....

Mid-lifer said...

I've given you another award! Rockin girl blogger - and tagged you.

Omega Mum said...

Hey, thanks, mid-lifer. Plan to add you to my blog roll, incidentally.

Gwen said...

I very much hope that Francis does get the job and then he can go into Tescos and take photos to his heart's content without fear of being accused of industrial espionage.

Omega Mum said...

Gwen: So do I, obviously, but of course it's not nearly as interesting to write about. Sigh.

debio said...

The more I learn from you of interview land and corporate messages, the more I feel I'm being duped by marketing.

That Francis still has the 'power to his elbow' to play the game is remarkable.

Good for him - and Good Luck with this one!

Omega Mum said...

Debio: he has met some nice headhunters, too, if I'm honest. They're just not nearly as much fun to write about....

Motheratlarge said...

Have my fingers crossed for you and Francis. Beanie and I had a lucky encounter in a supermarket this afternoon, in which the branch manager (no less) of Waitrose found and rescued the picture book she had tossed out of her buggy. Okay, tenuous link to your posting, I grant you, but perhaps auspices are good this week for us bloggers viz food retail. I'm hoping so!