Former colleague Jim has taken on the role of unofficial job coach. He starts by rating each job that Francis is applying for. Then takes to ringing for a post-interview debrief. Francis is somewhat baffled. "Obviously I'm grateful," he lies."It's just that he's starting to make me feel nervous."
Things take a turn for the worse when Jim decides that Francis' follow-up strategy needs a bit of a helping hand.
After every interview, Francis always sends a few words of thanks, opting for a tone that he hopes conveys dignity over desperation, and manly gratitude over grovelling. But Jim isn't happy with Francis' efforts:
"The problem, old son, is that you're just not sounding keen enough. Here," he says. "Use this. Always works a treat for me."
Francis reads out Jim's effort:
'Dear Chap
'I have just returned from our meeting and wanted to thank your for your attention & hospitality; and to express confirmed interest in working within your team. I enjoyed meeting with you again, and taking you through the outline of how we could approach your business.
'I was interested to hear of your plans - it's certainly an exciting initiative.The opportunities to work on your brands are compelling, and offer interesting and exciting challenges that play to my strengths. I would be delighted if I were to be appointed to the role and would look forward to working with you, both on a professional and personal basis.
'I look forward to hearing how you wish to progress.
'Best regards
'Francis'
"What do you think?" asks Francis. After several seconds of mature consideration, I stick two fingers down my throat and make a gagging noise.
"Any interviewer with my mature emotional response will feel the same," I assure Francis. "And remember, retching is nature's failsafe way of spotting a toady."
"I suppose so," says Francis."It's just that the toadies seem to do fantastically well."
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16 comments:
I used to write to interviewers and ask for feedback from the interview but that, and that only - not all that pallaver that Jim has suggested. To be honest that actually worked. I got good feedback which then helped tremendously when I went for the next interview.
Much better idea, Gwen. I think you'd be a great job coach. In fact, I'm going to sack Jim now.
My problem is that I'm better at interviews than the jobs themselves!
When did people start meeting with people. I think it was 5 years ao. I still meet people.
I agree with Gwen. A short-ish note is fine (probably) but Jim's strategy gets a 'G' from me. For Grovelling. And Gag.
I wonder what Jim's letter would be in answer to his sacking? A bit more brief and to the point, I suspect.
SAHD: Well, I guess that's the right way round. Awful to be fantastic at the job but never get the chance because of going to pieces at the interview. PS I hate meeting with people to. Also 'overnighting' When did it become a verb? Tell me that?
Alda: G is good mark
Drunk Mummy: It would be fun to find out...
I just hope he appreciates your honesty - retching and all. Now THAT's coaching!
Is it to do with being English, perhaps? Goes so much against our cultural training to send letters like that...
the good woman: Put it this way, I suspect he didn't marry me for my feminine wiles.
M@L: It's just the fear of crossing that fine line into smarmland - perhaps you're right about the nationality thing.
Ain't that the truth - toadies do so well. Wish I didn't have principles sometimes!
Any help I can give Francis would be gladly given (on the job front you understand)
M&M: It's not principles that sink you but a sense of humour. It's very hard to toady convincingly with one, or so I've found...
Gwen: You are sweet. Offer being passed straight on. (Plus caveat)
Francis has a point...toadies do seem to do really well...
DJK: Tragic, isn't it. But that's the approved order of things, unfortunately. Down with Toadies!
This self-propoganda 'thing' has become more and more popular over the last few years.
Masquerading as 'showing oneself in the best light', it gives credence to all the hollow marketing and hype with which we are surrounded.
We're all in danger of being 'spun' in so many different directions we'll disappear up our own wotsits!
Whatever happened to the written list of qualifications followed by a good, old-fashioned interview?
Surely the follow-up letter, other than that of thanks for their time, smacks of 'yes, but - I should have said...'
Where are we going here? And do we want to reach the same destination as the people who think they've already arrived?
Debio: Very profound and quite right.
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