Text from Vicky:
'Had great day out with kids. Took them go kartin then 4 a walk up a hill.
'Then all ruined cos they chased a lamb, son caught it, they all stroked it, he picked it up, it weed on him so he dropped it and it died, we think its neck was broken.
'All feel awful. I feel like shit. Hard 2 know how best to punish him.
'Ashamed to say we walked away. Know its illegal. F*** it.'
I read it to Francis.
"Well, at least they didn't barbecue it," he says.
There's the beep of another incoming text. I scan it. "Francis," I say, "You're not going to believe this........"
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
18 comments:
I'm still laughing!! Brilliant. You wicked, wicked woman (and I mean that in the 1970's sense).
Lady M: Cross my heart and hope to die but that text is word for word. I haven't added a thing apart from paragraphs. Made me laugh, too, though felt awful at the same time.
Same thing happened to a duck in Regents Park didn't it? In Nick Hornby's book "About a boy" - when the boy threw a piece of his mother's organic bread into the pond, hit a duck with it and killed it stone dead.
A sheep though? Now that must have been some kind of a drop!
And talking of drops - how could you leave us like that not knowing what was in the next text!
IB: Vicky's boy is tall and the ground was rocky, apparently. Sorry about not clarifying next text from Vicky. Bad writing. It mentioned barbecues. Thought content would be clear from context but obviously it wasn't.
Yes, the barbecue idea did finally come to me - but only AFTER I'd posted.
Nooooo! I love your blog - makes me feel so terribly normal! And good. Frankly, I'm a bit hung up on how they managed to light a BBQ, given the weather on this blessed island at the moment!
Sheer poetry, Omega Mum!
Did you see my comment to tell you I've made you a Rockin' Blogger? You get a nice pink logo to display on your site, should you so wish.
the good woman: Text made even me glow with virtue - glad it worked for you, too.
M&L: Rock on! Thanks v much......Pink - here I come.
Lovely omega mum - you make me laugh out loud as always!
Haven't been blogging so much as I am beavering away on my project. But more soon I promise!
It's good to know you're OK.
That has got to be fiction!? Def the part about the second text...?
DJ: I like to think I hold true to the honourable traditions of blogging........
Tell us, what was the subsequent text - I am dying to know...
Hope the kids don't have any pets - they wouldn't last long...
HAHAHAHA. Oh my gosh!!!!! That is so completely crazy!
DM: Vicky's text did seem to be planning bbq feast but now she refuses to talk about it - I suspect the farmer turned up but will try to get full story from her.
M&M: No pets, funnily enough. Just a dear little cemetery in the garden and things that twitch after midnight. (No bulls, so far)
Brillig: Glad you liked it.
I shall not read your blog to Cocoa & Cola tonight. Their demise will hopefully be slightly more dignified.
CJ: I'm so sorry to hear that. Will try to make it more ewes-er friendly next time.
Post a Comment